Faith Stories

A Trip to the Abortion Clinic

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I had a recent encounter with the Lord and He took me to an abortion clinic. I could see and feel His sadness that it even existed. He told me that He had to give people the choice, but that He would help them to make the choice of having a life and not death. 


The abortion clinic was not literal, but it is where He promises to us are given. After God gives us a promise, it is our choice whether or not to receive and accept them. 


Some people get angry and upset when they don’t see His promises and these love letter promises come to pass. But what they don’t realize is that the promises do not prosper when mingled with doubt and thoughts of unbelief. 


Believing can hurt in a way because it forces us to open our hearts to be vulnerable. I was explaining in some of my recent posts that God made us a “laughably impossible promise” about getting an apartment. 


The reason that it made me laugh is because the only way that the complex approved us was if we paid the whole entire lease of 12 months upfront. 


I didn’t even have enough in my bank to pay my phone bill and I could see no way that it could be possible. But then God made me a promise===a very specific promise of a certain amount of money. The amount of money that God promised to deliver to me was the amount that I would need to have the apartment. 


I should have been so happy, but you know what?? I wasn’t. I was so mad because I felt like God was messing with my heart. 


There have been over 4 years that I have cried myself to sleep at night, not knowing where I would live the next day. I would watch hallmark moves on loop and cry my eyes out because they all had a home. 


All I want more than anything in this natural world is the shelter of a home and not having to worry about how to pay for it. That promise broke my heart, because if it didn’t come true, then I would be absolutely shattered beyond repair. 


But I was thinking from a place of negativity, fear, and doubt–instead of the joy and relief of believing God would do what He promised. 


Day after day, God kept telling me that I needed to “wake up” and receive the promise, like a woman accepting and realizing that she was having a baby. 


He said the moment that I accepted it and opened my heart to believe, that the floodgates would open with fulfillment. And it was not just fulfillment–but it would be above and beyond all I could ask -hope -or dream. 


I even practiced opening my womb up to this promise. I closed my eyes and I imagined what it would feel like to have a home of our own fully paid for an entire year. 


I cannot even tell you how much joy flooded within me. I was sobbing with so much gratitude and relief. 


After 4 years of pure hell, from sleeping on floors and going to hotels and constantly having to move–because we had no control over what we could do–it was like the purest love was soothing all of my wounds in one single tidal wave of relief. 


As I dreamed with God, I saw us decorating and carrying our suitcases in. I saw myself holding the check for the apartment and the sheer happiness that I felt to give it to the leasing office. 


I saw myself getting keys and I felt them in my hand. I also saw myself laying on the carpet of the empty new room and weeping in thanksgiving to God, for giving us a home and relief from all of the financial pressures and constraints. 


It was freedom unlike I have ever known and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t despise my life. In fact, I felt that abundant life and love from Jesus and I saw life as a gift and not as a prison sentence of constant affliction. 


That is what it is like to become one with the promise. You have to love that promise as if it were your child and you would be willing to give up your life to save your baby. 


The promise is an extension of Jesus too. He is His word. Accepting the promise is also accepting Him into your heart. This goes so deep and it is an ocean of bottomless love. 


It is like when a woman becomes pregnant. When she tests positive for pregnancy, she (if it is welcomed) accepts the diagnosis and realizes that she is going to have a new baby. 


That is much like when you get a promise from God or read one of these love letters. These love letters are full of promise, and when they move your heart to leap within, then it is as if you tested positive to have a baby. 


However, thoughts of doubt, fear, unbelief…they all try to kill the baby. It is witchcraft at its finest, trying to seduce us with thoughts of doubt so that we will go and abort the promises of God. 


They don’t just happen to us, but we have to be willing to trust God and believe. In order for the new life to emerge, we must put to death every doubt, fear, and unbelieving thought. 


However, when a woman does nothing harmful to the baby, the baby inside of her will continue to grow and develop into fullness. The baby will come on its own, all we have to do is fully receive and accept it. 


Last night, God spoke to me and He said “it is no longer acceptable for you to ask for money”. Of course, I woke up in a panic after that because I am in a place of needing so much–or so it seems. 


But then the Holy Spirit began breaking down what He said and He said that it has already been given to me like a promise. 


He promised an abundance and before we took off on living on the income of only His promise, He gave me a promise to richly supply all of our needs to fill my bank with the support from His personal love. 


When I pray for the money that was already given to me in a promise, then I am coming into agreement with lack–that it is not there. To pray as if you don’t have something is to be in a mentality of separation. 


But since the gift was already given, we don’t have to ask anymore, we just have to receive and open it up by stepping into it with child-like trust (which is also where imagination and faith come together as we pour ourselves out to God in total trust). 


You receive from your identity, from who you are. But if you enter the mindset of fulfillment, as if it has happened, then it will begin to rise up and out to fill your world. 


Gratitude is like opening the womb to receive the new life baby. This promise is more a mindset beyond anything. As we become thankful and enter into the mental state of full faith, then the promise on the inside becomes fulfilled in the natural. 


There is a choice that only you can make, accept the promise or terminate the pregnancy. Only you can do this–with the help of Christ within. 


If we choose to accept the baby, then it has to become real to us, to the point where all we feel is the joy of fulfillment –even before it happens. 


So don’t get mad at the prophet or at the promise or even at God. Get mad at the witchcraft that tries to entice you to doubt.


 Get mad at the fear that keeps you from opening your heart. Get mad at the doubt and unbelief and put them to death—once and for all. 


The length of each pregnancy is determined by how long it takes a person to accept and believe. 


When you get to the point where you have died to every thought and emotion of fear, doubt, and unbelief–that is when your promise will take fruition and you will hold in your arms. 


You’ll see with your own eyes that everything God promised, happened—just like He said. Then you will forget the pain of what it was like before your dreams came to life. 


Love you guys, 



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