Faith Walk

Out with the Old




I am feeling led to share an encouraging and motivating word that the Lord has been speaking to my heart. For this one, however, I don’t know how to share it without making it really personal. 


I usually don’t share too many of my personal details on here. Sure, I share the stories of receiving out of God’s promise for financial support and housing, but that is about it. There is quite a big amount that I keep to myself. 


But for the sake of making this message real and personable, I am going to really expose some personal details of my own life, so that you can get a better picture of this story. 


I have several promises that I have been trusting God to fulfill and I have been working on several other books that I have never really mentioned before. I am kind of glad for that too because I need to give ya’ll some books to read that I haven’t already posted in this blog haha 😀


There’s been a bunch of negative things from my past that I have been working through and for all of those negative things, I have a promise from God for a wonderful new outcome. 


Many, many years ago, (as I have mentioned before) I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. That man was like a Haman to me (book of Esther). He lives a life of complete deception and has been a real master of disguise. 


He has everyone fooled to believe that he is something that he is not, even his employer. Every badge that he shows for himself was a lie and even the degrees that he flaunts have never happened. 


After we split up, he spoke so many lies about me that it caused me to lose friendships and respect from people of the past. That was infuriating to me because nothing of what he said was true. 


In fact, the real shame was on him, because he did things to hurt not only me but others that I love more than myself. 


I used to cry buckets and beg God to expose all of his lies and deceptions. God gave me a promise that He would expose all of his lies and God told me that the man would end up making a fool out of himself, like a clown. Every time God shows me a clown, that is my reminder.


All of that honor that he gained through self-promoting deceit, fraud, and fakeness would come back as a shame upon his own head. 


God promised to give me justice for the things that happened to my kids. I was helpless and all I had was to trust God to fight for us and defend us. 


I have so many more promises regarding that person, and I also had to go through some deep heart work to forgive him and release the offenses. 


After it all fell apart, I started going through a deep deliverance from fear, because I was a survivor of some really strong abuse and it was suffocating to even breathe sometimes. I comforted myself every time I was afraid by consuming food, especially sugar and caramel lattes lol. 


Doing that was not helpful, it actually was hurting me. I would have chosen to smoke cigarettes instead as my outlet, but I had waited for over 10 years for God to deliver me from that one and I was not going back again haha. 


From the sugar drugs, I gained over 70 pounds and my skin started to look really old. I was so broken because not only was I healing from that past deceit and abuse, but there I was looking hideous and feeling even more horrible. I wanted so much to get my former beauty back, but no matter what I did, it only got worse. 


As I was bathing in my own tears, God gave me a promise of miracle weight loss, renewed youth, and beauty. He also took me on an unforgettable encounter and I started writing a book about supernatural weight loss. I have been writing it for over 6 years and it is still in progress. It is unlike anything that has ever been written with wisdom that humbles me to even write about. Thank you, Jesus! 🙂 


Because I am writing this book, I had to do my healing God’s way and God did not allow me to join other programs. He gave me detailed information to use and someday I will be able to share that all with you. I am serious, it is gonna blow your mind! 


Today God has been talking to me about letting go of the past in order to make room for the new. We cannot receive something new if our hands are still full of the old. 


The car that I had been driving for the past 2 years actually belongs to someone who is no longer a part of my life and it was a toxic connection. That person was not able to give me a title to the car and would not renew the plates, so it is illegal to drive. I even tried to do it myself, but it didn’t work. But that’s okay because I am supposed to let it go. 


I got pulled over this month 2 times (thank God, no tickets) and I finally felt convicted to no longer drive it. I had been holding onto the vehicle as a safety net, in case we had to leave the place we are at. It is scary when everything that you own has to come with you wherever you go. 


In the past when we didn’t have a vehicle, it was so scary. We were at hotels and had no place to keep our things. I didn’t have money for the room and I was frantic and bawling my eyes out with fear. I was afraid that we would end up on the side of the road with more bags than we could carry. 


Yet every time that I was in that position, God would show up to cover our room and we never had to go without a way to move forward. 


I felt God nudging my heart to release this car back to the owner and let go of it in order to make room for the new one that God promised. 


As I was praying about if I should really do it, I got an email that invited me to apply for a business grant towards a company vehicle for $25,000. I knew that was my sign to let go of the old and to open myself to receive the new. I also went a step further and applied for the grant lol. 


There is actually a beautiful testimony of making room to receive from Steve Harvey, here:


It is only 6 minutes long and is so powerful. I shared this video about 2 years ago and I am excited to share it again. 


Sometimes in order to receive, we have to let go of what we are holding in our hands. It is a move of faith and it will bring rewards of pure gold. Faith requires action and it often comes with stepping into a place of fear that is way out of our comforts. 


Even though I am terrified of letting go of the car, I am going to do it by faith. I will unload my hands and make myself ready to receive all that God promised. 


Not only with the car either. I am cleaning out the closets of the past, to make room for new clothes (new beauty). I am giving God the humiliating weight gain and aging. I am giving Him the deceitful man and my heart bleeding desire for justice and vindication. 


By the way, for those you with a personal Haman to give to God, check out the Haman love letter here:


Sometimes a promise from God to make things right and to undo the works of wickedness through a person in our life is just what we need to finally be able to let go of what they did, forgive them, and move on. 


I am also writing a story of my own love story from God. I have a promise for a true love husband who hasn’t entered my life yet, however, the beginning of that love story starts with the ending of the abuser. 


God has shown me that I will write several books about the promises and opposing things that I am going through. I always wanted to share more things with you, but it was always a matter of time. I am also going to write a book about healing after God releases me to reveal that story to you too. 


The past scars will always complement our new beauty, but they will never define us. Before a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, the caterpillar body completely melts away. 


After the caterpillar is transformed into a liquid, the butterfly CHOOSES new genes to use. The caterpillar genes are still present, but the butterfly chooses to let go of the old and put on the new through gene regulation. The butterfly is the perfect example of getting a second chance at life. 


It is important to release the past, otherwise, the past pain can become an idol that sits in our souls like a tomb rotting with death and decay. We have to let go of the ugliness and choose to focus on the new beauty. We have to let go of the former way things were to receive the upgraded life. 


So with a big exhale, I am letting go of the old car, the old body, and the old deceptive man–so that I can receive my new promised car, my new promised body, and the new love that God intended for me to find all along. Here’s to out with the old and in with the new! 


God bless you as you also move forward and leave the past behind you. 


Love you to pieces!





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