Writing the Story
Sometime back in 2012 I found an old worn-out book at a thrift store that caught my eye. Finding books at thrift stores was one of my favorite “treasure hunting” activities.
The book was from George Muller and from the moment I sat down to read it, those words forever changed my life. George did not have an easy path to walk, because he was called to live by faith financially as he trusted in God.
He recorded his daily testimonies of God’s provisions showing up and how God would radically answer his prayers. He started out with only a few pennies to rub together and because of his faith—God blessed him immensely.
George was eventually prospered so greatly by God, that he went on to build a school and many orphanages. He used his prosperity to share his blessings with others.
Because he chose to share his stories of faith and be vulnerable (which is not always easy), his story became a priceless blessing to those who read his accounts of seeing the miraculous of God financially. If you have not read any of his books, you can read find them on Amazon here; https://amzn.to/3P7dwig This is just one, but there are so many.
I am remembering how much his willingness to show his weakness openly has impacted my life. I didn’t realize back in 2012 that God was preparing me to walk down a very similar path and yet a uniquely different one.
However, I have not been so eager or open to sharing. It is one of the hardest things for me to do. Because that is a weakness for me, God often attaches the provision that I need to my willingness to share my weaknesses, needs, and faith stories to help me cross over beyond that place of complete exposure and discomfort.
Sharing is not comfortable for me and I have often been met by the accuser both through people who claim to love God and even from my own insecurities at times.
I began resenting sharing my story and yet that is what God has called me to do. I despised my story and each day I felt more and more humiliated by not having a normal life and home. God wanted me to share authentically and openly, just like how He taught George to share.
A week or so ago, God told me to share my story openly, because I had been trying to hide it as much as I could. I was afraid for the people who accused me and hurt me in the past to see it because my walk of faith was not accepted by them. Instead of sharing very publicly as God asked me to do, I shared as little as I could and with only a few select friends on social media.
I should have known that if I didn’t jump in the water by faith, God would lovingly push me in, as a good Father would. I woke up the other morning to find out that a post about my story (that I was trying to resist sharing openly) had been shared on a very public and popular group.
I was challenged in my heart as to whether or not I could move by courage or fear. I was afraid that if people who were close to me saw that I was going through this, they would not love me anymore.
However, when it comes down to what really matters, it is my intimate walk with God and obeying His call. At the end of my life, those people will not be there when I stand face to face before Him and He is the first love of my life.
This is my time to shine and I have to make the decision to embrace my calling to share my story or to be a coward of fear and doubt. I am not fully there yet because there is sensitivity in the situation with family, but I am getting closer to taking that big leap of trust in God.
I also would like to give you a little update on our journey “home”. We were scheduled to check out of the hotel tomorrow and I had been under extreme pressure and worried about what we would do and where the money to stay would come from.
I had an encounter with God recently and He was preparing me to move to where He takes us next but He said that I needed to be patient to trust His timing.
This week was really challenging and I spent much of the time in prayer and getting the fears of being homeless burnt away from the refining flame. In the middle of my meltdown, God showed up with an unexpected surprise and made a way for me to buy another week here.
The relief of having a place of comfort and refuge is unlike anything in the world. It is the best feeling to feel safe and comforted. As much as I dislike going through the testing of faith, I love when the comfort manifests and I am able to take a big deep breath.
I am still believing God to deliver a little bit more to get food for our room. I have been imagining getting lots of fresh fruit and filling the place with the nourishment that we are all needing.
It is so out of my place of comfort to expose my life like this but when I think back to how much George Muller’s story helped me have faith in God for the exact same thing–I can’t help but be excited to see who God has me help as well.
No matter how unimportant you may feel in your story of faith or survival or even just getting finding a reason to take another breath, you never know who you may help. You are destined for greatness and your story helps others when they see God’s love for you–however that looks.
Never feel ashamed of your weakness, need, or disability. It is through those places that the love and power of God pour out in spectacular beauty. I have had actual Godly leaders (or so-called lol) insult me and try to turn people away from reading my story.
Why? Because they were NOT walking in God’s love and it was a tactic sent by the enemy to try to stop people from encountering God’s love through the word of testimony and faith. God once told me that our testimony is our place of dominion.
I never put anyone on a pedestal above God no matter how famous, because not all are who they claim to be. I would rather stay face to face with Jesus than follow a voice without love that could contaminate my faith with cloudy water.
Embrace your story–even if it feels embarrassing to do. Because what you may see as shame, God sees as a place to give you honor and raise you up as His beloved child. God doesn’t see as man does, because God sees the heart.
He will bless your sacrifice to trust Him and bless you in the place of your weakness and pain. Then He will prosper you so richly that you will become a faucet to bless others who will walk down a similar path to where you have been. Those people will write their own stories and your words will forever be remembered and treasured by them.
I love you and thank you for reading a part of my story.