Love Must Be Made Uncomfortable To Grow

 

 

It was a night that I could never forget. I was just about to go into a deep sleep, and the Father lifted me up, and He spoke to me in an audible way.  

 

I could feel every vibration of His voice, and He had the most loving voice I had ever known. When I talked to Him, my voice came out like that of a little child. 

 

I knew at that moment that there was nothing that I could ever do or say that would make Him not love me. I had never felt so loved, accepted, and safe. 

 

As He talked to me, He began to show me pictures, visions, and words about my future. It was like I was watching a movie before my eyes. When I woke up, I had an inner knowing about things that I could not explain. 

 

I was just like a newborn Christian at that time and I shared openly to some people who were big into demonic focus and I didn’t realize that they were unhealed with a Jezebel mindset. 

 

That started a whole whirlwind of chaos that would become the most painful and beautiful time of my life. After I shared my encounter, there was a girl who was very proud and called herself a prophet. 

 

I was instantly intimidated by her, and I was scared, because she was very bold with her words. What I didn’t realize then, but I see now, was she had no love. 

 

She was obsessed with casting out demons and giving prophesies. She claimed to be intimate with Jesus, yet it was just words…She had a fear based mindset, and she convinced her whole church that I was an “angel of light in disguise” or a “witch”. 

 

I was so fragile because all I knew was that Jesus was my best friend, and we talked all the time. 

 

That woman convinced her whole church that I was evil, and they shunned me and my children because they were afraid that they would catch some kind of demonic thing from me. 

 

It was sickening. Not only did they hurt me, but they traumatized my kids. I remember going to their church one night, and I was worshiping Jesus with my eyes closed and tears in my eyes. When I opened my eyes, I noticed they were all staring at me and making critical whispers about me. I could feel their hatred and it broke my heart. 

 

They even kept their kids home from church if I would be there, because they were afraid that my kids or myself would give them something evil….

 

I was so broken after that and isolated myself with God for years. I would cry myself to sleep, and after I fell asleep, Jesus would come and give me encounters with Heaven. He taught me many things and helped me to stand confident in who I am. 

 

That brutal attack against my identity became a place where I leaned so intimately into Jesus. From then on, I leaned upon Him, and He helped me to rise back up after the attack. 

 

That was just about 10 years ago and just recently, I met the same type of “Christian” again. I was accused of terrible things and instantly shunned away because of the “fear based” doctrine that is so blind to faith. 

 

I have gone through a deep deliverance over the past decade with God since that first attack, and I was able to easily recognize that same baby Christian mindset right off the bat. I even wrote a powerful book with unheard revelations on deliverance that I have not shown to anyone, and it has not been released yet. 

 

But it hurt terribly to go through that attack. I have not wanted to talk over the past few days because I was so heartbroken. I have not cried that much since I was in that same place ten years ago.  The pain in my heart has been unbearable, and I have not had a single day when I did not weep, as I leaned upon God for comfort. 

 

It was not the accusation that hurt so much, or even the attack. I know that it was a lie and I know the truth…. It was who it came from because it was someone I didn’t think could ever hurt me and someone that I love very much. 

 

At this moment, I don’t know when my heart will mend, it feels like I have been stabbed in the heart with a very sharp dagger. 

 

When I first started ministry with Jesus, I was like that too. I was afraid to exercise my faith in the way that God wanted me to, with child like faith and imagination, because I was afraid of “catching demons” or venturing into witchcraft. 

 

However, I had to lean upon Jesus and know His voice. He told me that if the voice is ever of fear, then it is not Him. He said that His voice will always feel like the gentle vibrations of being carried in a mother’s womb. 

 

It is safe, calm, soothing, and comfort. There is no fear. God has liberated me from that “fear based” belief. I used to love to do certain exercises, but I stopped because I was afraid I would “catch” something evil. 

 

But God said to me, “Do you not believe in Psalm 91?”. I am covered and there is nothing to fear. The place where we become impure is what we believe and agree with.  A curse only has power when we believe that it does. The blessings of God have set us free. 

 

I know that Jesus is my leadership and there is no other voice I will follow. I know that He has delivered me of every dark thing aside from the fears that He is helping me to overcome. He often shows me those fears, like a big black spider, because fear spreads if not destroyed. 

 

Last night, God said to me that He allows us to go into “uncomfortable” situations because “Love must be made uncomfortable to grow”. It is love that displaces fear, and it is standing in the “LIGHT of Faith” where we shine with God’s love. 

 

Just as Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness”. I am sorry, but that “fear based mindset” of many Christian deliverance ministries are literally doing nothing but entangling themselves in more fear and more darkness…and worst of all, judgement. 

 

God is preparing me to be very uncomfortable, so that His love can grow over the places that I have fear. Opening up to people and being my real self is one of those fears. 

 

It is all because of those horrible fear-minded Christians that I encountered nearly a decade ago. But I am not going to allow their limited, fear based mindsets to cause me to shrink back any more from being the vessel of love that God has called me to be. 

 

I hope that my heart will stop hurting soon, and that love can being all things together again quickly. I would love to not cry over this heartache, and to step into the new sounds of blooming love. 

 

I love you, 

 

Dannette 

https://linktr.ee/dannetteward