This is the Perfect Time to Begin Again

 

For the past week or so, God has been helping me to release some deep pain that I experienced during this more recent journey. A year ago, God blessed us to stay at a beautiful castle apartment, and it was like a dream come true. 

 

That same year, God led me to follow Him with only enough money to cover one night at a hotel in a different state. I didn’t have anything to hold onto for support, other than my personal promises from God. 

 

So far, that journey has been going on for nearly 9 months, and I have experienced some of the most painful times of my life. I cried last night in both gratitude and pain. I was so thankful that God saved our life. If God had not supported us and rescued us, we would have died. 

 

I remember one evening in early autumn when we were waiting for God to rescue us with His promised support for a room and food. We were in a parking lot at a big grocery store. 

 

I was trying to scrape together a little more than $2 so that I could buy us the donuts that were discounted at the end of the day. The store was about to close, and we had nowhere to go, and all of my dependence was on God’s word. 

 

That same day was a roller coaster because we went super low, but then God took us really high. He ended up sending us money according to His promise and then told me what hotel to go to. 

 

He paid for us to have 3 nights in a beautiful Hilton hotel, and He was very specific to go to that exact place. God wanted to comfort us from that moment of pain and distress. 

 

During this journey, I have had nights when God lavished us in comforts, and I have had nights when I cried myself to sleep with hunger. Depending on God’s promise has been more humbling than I can even describe. 

 

God told me the other night that He allowed us to go through the humbling, to prove that my love was for Him and not for money, and so that I could learn to depend on Him above anything or anyone else. 

 

He gave me this scripture from Hebrews 13, 

 

“Let your character [your moral essence, your inner nature] be free from the love of money [shun greed—be financially ethical], being content with what you have; for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!”

 

Even though God promised an abundance and that we would live in His extravagant comforts after this is done, my heart had to be made pure from greed and idolatry, as I found my contentment, and comfort from God as my Source. The blessings are a promise and an abundance is a gift from God, but we need to have our dependence upon God to provide those things, and not put our trust in money or any other thing. 

 

My love for God had to be above all. 

 

Recently, God has been loading me with promises of how much money will come to rescue us, and of not suffering that way again. However, I couldn’t get my mind out of the “mud” of my past pain, and I refused to believe those promises. 

 

Last night, God was showing me that by holding my past pain, over His promises of an abundance, that I was holding myself in a place of pride. He told me that I needed to release the pain, and to humble myself under His mighty word, so that He could lift me up. 

 

At this point, not believing in His abundance was a place of arrogance and God was wanting me to let go of that pain that is no longer serving me. Also, when we stay in that place of past pain for too long, we can end up reaping more pain upon ourselves, because we reap what kind of thoughts that we sow….whether that is fear or faith. 

 

Today is the perfect day to let that dirt, shame, and pain from the earlier parts of this journey go. It is my birthday and I do not want to carry that pain with me anymore. 

 

Recently, I shared testimonies about the castle blessings that God had given us on my Facebook, and I deleted it because I couldn’t stop thinking about the lowness that have had to go through. I had too much self-pity to share those beautiful days, and that was wrong on my part. 

 

The only way that we can truly discover if God’s words are true for us is to let His love touch the places that were once touched by fear. That has been a really hard thing for me to do recently, because of some unexpected things that happened for us. 

 

For the past 3 months, God has lovingly covered our hotel room, but the place where He was moving through had a sudden and unexpected closed door. So now my faith is back to a place of believing, even when I cannot see a way. 

 

When I was praying about it and seeking God about what to do, He showed me the word, “door to door”. Then He said that one closed door will also lead to a new door. 

 

So here I am, letting go of the extreme pain that I had to go through at the start of this recent journey, and blindly trusting God’s words over my own fears, or opinions. 

 

It is a time to trust-fall into His love and follow Him to the end of this journey. Back in July 2023, God woke me up and prepared me for this time of traveling. He said to follow Him to the place of tangible hopes. 

 

I have to trust and know that He who has called is faithful to finish what was started. 

 

This is a time to throw out the disappointments, and pain from before and to begin again…with fresh faith like a little child who believes that anything wonderful can happen at any moment. 

 

I love you. God bless your path with the sweetest blessings. 

 

Dannette

 

https://linktr.ee/dannetteward