For what seemed like hours, I sat on the couch, and I thought about how God has been so good to give us places of refuge, and food, and to hold us above the threats of death and homelessness. I wept more….

On the down note, I thought about the ones that aided the enemy in our desperate situation of needing to be rescued, and I had to go through deep forgiveness of what they had done to me and my helpless children…all over again. The bitterness was removed, and love was restored…

My heart was overflowing with tears of grief, and gratitude for all God had done. I remembered when God first started teaching me this unique way to pray to receive miracles to cover our little motel rooms, and how scary it was. It was a pioneer journey, so there was only Jesus to teach me. 

It started out so low, and the results were very difficult to see. The check out of our tiny hotel room was the next morning, and I didn’t even have $20. I didn’t have a car, if we had to go. I didn’t have anyone who I could call who actually cared back then…. I was stuck. So I figured out a way to feed the kids a filling (not healthy, but filling) meal for under $10 on the Burger King value menu. 

Of course, I wanted to buy them the best, healthiest options, but when you are fighting to survive the next day or even the next hour, there are limited options. All I had to go by were the tools that Jesus would show me to do. 

The pain of facing such intense fears was often more than I could take. I used to lay on the cold, dirty bathroom tile of the floor sobbing, begging God not to let me take my life. Facing those fears with so much unbelief, and distrust in God was overwhelming. 

The truth is, the only pain was the pain in my mind. God kept His promises to me, and we never went a single day without a comfortable refuge, transportation or food. I had to choose what to follow with my thoughts and emotions…the fear of my kids suffering, or the faith in God’s promise to me. Having faith was the only way to survive. I chose faith because my kids lives depended on it. 

Jesus was ALL I had who was able to reach me in my need….So I would walk up and down the sidewalk and imagine that I received PayPal donations. I was pretending, just like a child would, and I would imagine that I was picking donations off the trees, or that the PayPal logos were floating down to me, all while chanting Bible scriptures over and over, and speaking out His personal promises to my family. 

It was the biggest moment of my life at that time, when I had my first breakthrough, and I received a sudden $200 to cover the room. I remember standing there weeping, as the cars passed by, because I was so terrified for me and my children, and I was so relieved by the comfort I received.

That was the biggest donation I had ever gotten blessed with at that time, and I felt like I won the lotto to be able to pay for food and the hotel room at once. We had no car, no money, and no home. All we had was God’s promise, and His instructions to follow. 

When I think about how far God has taken me, from the times when my brother and I would run through dirt roads, scrounging up change to buy a fountain drink at the gas station….I am amazed. 

The past few days so many memories have flooded my mind. I thought about my beautiful brother, Joshua, and how much I love him. I missed Florida, but I am thankful for the way God saved me when I was stranded there homeless, with two young children. Little did I know that those early years were preparing me for something so huge. 

It has been a few days of whirlwind for me, as God has been healing my sorrows, and reminding me of His goodness, by taking me down a walk on memory road. I am beyond myself in awe by what God has done. 

We are in the midst of a severely hard faith test at the moment, and remembering God’s faithfulness is what has helped me to keep my faith. Because faith is a muscle that must be exercised, in order to see big results. 

In the beginning, I had a very little faith muscle, and so my results were also very little. As time grew, and I learned to navigate through the unseen, so did my faith muscle expand, and the results grew bigger. 

I would have never dreamed that we would end up in high rise Airbnb’s or that God would have given us temporary refuge in a castle apartment. It has not been easy, and even now my faith is being tested beyond all comfort. However, remembering has been a faith-lifting blessing. 

We must remember God’s faithfulness when we are facing the times that seem and feel hopeless. In the beloved Psalm, when he was downcast and panting like a deer for water. 

He was crying out….oh my soul? Why are you so anxious? Why am I so overwrought, Why am I so disturbed? Why can’t I just hope in God? 

After he poured out his bitter agony, he chose to remember the happy times when God blessed him and saved him. Finally, he ended the Psalm to say… Despite all my emotions, I will believe and praise the One who saves me, my God.

In every moment, we must choose what we will think about, and where we will put our emotions. If I had followed those emotions of pain, and fear, I would have never made it this far. One of the most helpful things that Jesus has taught me about faith, is that I have to put to death the fears and doubts, even if I don’t feel like it….even if I am scared. 

It all comes down to trust…and trust is a choice. We can choose to hold grudges and offenses in order to not trust, or we can choose to die to those worries, and be completely and positively vulnerable before the Lord. One of the best ways to trust is when the person is trustworthy.

I have tested the promises of God in the midst of near-death experiences, and He truly is trustworthy. God once told me that I needed to humble myself by putting His Sovereign words over my emotions. 

I know it is hard, but do not be discouraged if it seems that you are not getting results at first. Give yourself the grace to grow into faith. It is something that starts as a tiny seed, but it can grow into a magnificent, strong oak tree. 

Just take a breath, keep going, and don’t be hard on yourself….or on the Lord. Everything is working in your favor, and your faith is moving mountains that you don’t even know about. 

God won’t fail you. No one who puts all of their trust in Him will be disappointed. When it is needed, allow God to heal the dusty old memories, and celebrate in how far you have come. You are going to see so many wonderful things done….greater than you can even dream. 

I would love for you to read the faith-inspiring stories of the early days of our journey. They are found in my book, Naked Wings on my store. There are also many faith tools available to help you enter into your promises, and exercise your faith. I also have many treasures there that can help you get through the hard, difficult times. 

See more at my website here: 

https://diamondsfromthedust.com/

Love, Dannette