Exhausted from the weight of so many burdens, like a whale who can no longer pull herself to the surface. I want to trust you… I do! But these fears are so heavy, too. 

The vast, open sea is a terrifying place to be. You are the only hope I have.  I am singing, but no one hears me, like a whale’s lonely song with no more strength to carry on. 

So many memories of falling…failing…times when you didn’t do what I was expecting. Why did we suffer so much? Why didn’t you make it easy? I didn’t expect it to be so hard. Every hurt accumulated. I held on to every offense, like a record keeper making lists. I never imagined it would take so long. 

The bitter taste of salt water wounds, when there was no way to exert myself, I was trapped…helpless. I was broken, underwhelmed. I thought it would be done different. There was no one who understood, or could relate to, this purpose. 

I was the heaviest whale trapped in the sea, with no way to reach the surface to breath. The worries of how I will survive this have pushed me to the lowest ocean, deep into the soul’s Mariana trench. The painful remembrance of suffering swirl like seaweed above My head. 

The sea plants of death were wrapped around my neck. You said, “my child, let go…those fears are toxic”. You made me a promise for this time, even when though there seemed no way to survive. 

You said the freedom of my dreams was found in the death of the fears and worries. It was there, in the end of myself, that I would find the emergence of your power to help. 

There is so much risk in allowing my heart to trust, but Father, I have no energy left. I am weary of fears drowning me alive. I know that you will save me again this time.

The waves of my needs are surging over me, pushing me deep in the cerulean sea. My emotions beat upon my chest, like tumultuous waves that are relentless. It’s more than I can do, Father…I need you! 

You are all I have, the only hope of a rescue. The only way to live is to let the doubting fears no longer exist. So I let these fears and worries go, to sink like a whale coming to the end of herself. I give you my heart, I choose to BELIEVE….I come to the end of myself, and these doubts that I have been holding. 

I let go of fighting to get to the surface on my own efforts, like a whale who no longer eats, but calmly sinks into peace. The pain in my heart is released, because I am no longer fighting the promise that you made me. 

I take the risk to trust you, with every ounce of my energy dissolved. You will never let me go. You are the safe haven where I can rest my soul, the truest love I have ever known. 

A soul poem by Dannette Ward

https://diamondsfromthedust.com/