I have been longing to share so much with you recently about what has been going on, but the Lord is having me keep it to myself for a while.
God is having me publish many things in one big post very, very soon. It will be a documented testimony of many rescues all in one from this current time.
Even as I write this, my faith is in the fire but I am expectant and hopeful that this will be worth the temporary discomfort.
God has also been taking me through a process of letting go of the weight of pain from my burdens and my past journey. The other night I decided to take a break from everything going on and watch a Christmas movie and relax.
There was a line in the movie that keeps playing in my spirit over and over. For me, it was about my book, Naked Wings. The line of the movie was,
“What is the point of writing it all down if you are just going to abandon it?”.
Wow….convicted lol. So I haven’t shared this yet, but I had unpublished the book from Amazon and I went back and forth about having it on the website. I wanted to forget it and hide it forever.
The reason behind that was this….it was the most painful time of my life. It was full of agony, bitterness, shame, and pain–and that was how I saw it.
That book was a reminder of how bad it hurt to be stranded in a hotel room with no income and have no one by my side besides Jesus.
Thankfully God sent beautiful souls like you to come to walk with me as comfort through that time. But I was also met by “Joseph’s brothers” who turned on me and cast me into the pit. That hurt at first.
It hurt until I saw the bigger picture and saw how special I was. Those people’s rejection became my closeness to God and my place of relentless blessings. Like Gideon, God had to remove some for a while so that I could see how faithful and powerful He was.
Long story short, I resented that book in part and I wanted to forget it existed. It is bitter and sweet. It is sweet because it was the path where I was met and lavishly loved by Jesus revealing His hand to help.
It was also where I received the closeness of His voice and I learned to dance in my writing with His love letters. I learned to lean my troubles into His hands and cry to the lover of my soul. It awakened me to know the intimate presence of My first love and it helped me to trust better.
Like a woman giving birth, I wrapped my arms around Jesus’s shoulders so that He could carry the weight and relieve the pain of birthing a new life.
As I pondered that movie line over and over again, God reminded me of someone that I met on this journey. I honestly cannot remember who it was, but I remember the message.
It was a man who had been through hell and back from trauma in the military. He said that he wrote a book about his pain. Then he explained to me that as he wrote about his pain, it was his way of letting that pain go.
Once it left his mind and touched the paper, it was no longer a burden to carry or remember. It was no longer attached to his future and present.
I never want to forget what God was for me and how He rescued me in the most terrifying times of my life. But God is ushering me to let go and forget the pain, the humiliations, and the past disappointments.
So instead of holding onto the words of my book as an idol and tombstone of anguish–because of how painful that time of my life was. I am going to release those words to be a blessing and blueprint to help someone else and glorify God’s faithfulness and ever-present help.
It will be a beauty for ashes and pain recycled into loveliness. As I repost the pages of this bitter-sweet story of intentional love and a life-saving rescue, I am also letting go of the pain of it. I let go of the agony while cherishing the immensity of the intentional love that I experienced.
It’s time to tell a new story. What was is no longer what is. I have to let go of what I am holding so that I can receive a new beginning. Faith is always growing and we move from glory to glory.
We are not in a tiny motel with no car full of pain and humiliation. We are at a brand new experience on this journey and on our way to the home of our dreams.
May this book forever honor God’s promises being fulfilled with testimonies written time after time. May the tears that I shed and the pain of facing the most agonizing fears be a reminder of how far I have come and how loyal God has been to keeping His word.
Even as I face tomorrow, I will remember how far God has carried us and how wonderful He has been. So good. God is so good. His promises are my lifeline and He is all the love that I need. I am full. ♡
May the teardrops come back as the beauty of tulips and the words be an incredible inspiration of living faith to others who will follow a similar road.
Thanks for reading and allowing me to let this go before you. I love you and I hope that you have an unforgettable week ahead full of good news after good news–and then more good news. ♡ Dannette