A Miracle Worth Sharing
At the beginning of the year, I shared my Christmas miracle on my blog…but only for a moment. I ended up getting viciously attacked by someone who was not walking in God’s love and who had no clue what it was like to live on real faith.
Not only did I end up taking the beautiful story down, but I basically disappeared from everything. It was horrible at the time, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. After that gruesome attack, I hid my face and stopped sharing my stories as much.
I started to shrink back more and more, and eventually I stopped posting on social media completely for many weeks. During that time of hiding my face, I went through some deep healing. I was met by God during that time, and He showered me in love and promise.
I ended up surrendering a very old “people pleasing” part of my self and I decided to no longer care what anyone else thinks. I chose to love myself, just as God has loved me so much.
He chose me to share my stories and by shrinking back, I was putting the unkindness of man above God in my heart. So during that time, I reached my roots deeper into God’s love for me and I also remembered how to love myself.
Now looking back, I am thankful for the attack because it made me healthier in my heart and like a vigorous tree, I was able to produce much better fruit in my life.
I decided that I will proudly share God’s stories and be my real self unashamed. I don’t have the kind of normal life that most people do and I have often been criticized for that by those with ugliness inside. Sadly, I even harbored shame because it hurt to be so different. I didn’t realize that being different was a blessing.
It has been through my weakness that God has shown His power through my life, and I am truly blessed to be able to experience His love in such unforgettable ways.
I used to always pray to God and ask Him to give me beautiful testimonies to share, like Katheryn Kulhman. I used to watch her recordings and dream of having wonderful stories of encountering miracles like she did.
Now God has been filling me up with so many encounters, and I am not going to let someone throwing stones keep me from living the dream that I had always wanted to live.
Besides, I am doing this out of my love for God and for the individual that He wants to bless from the pain that has been recycled. I am doing this because it is part of my dream, and I am going to love myself enough to show up to live it out.
Since I never really got to share the beauty of what God did for us over Christmas, I would like to joyfully share that with you now. It was truly astounding, and I was deeply touched by the intentional love of God’s promise once again.
On December 23rd we had a blizzard and going anyplace was completely out of the question. Our tree was still empty underneath, but God was filling our hearts with hopes that we would still be able to shop for some last-minute treasures.
There was something about that night, there was a wonderful hope that spread through the air. Even though I had every reason to be sad or afraid, I knew that God was with us during that time.
Out of nowhere, we received a miracle donation that was so utterly unexpected. Suddenly our hopes of having a Christmas miracle came true.
The next morning the storm let up just enough to get someplace close. Thankfully we stay at a place that is just down the road from the mall, where we could do everything all at once.
It was Christmas eve and most people had finished their shopping, so the mall was relatively quiet. The blizzard had settled down from its fury and we finally made it to the stores.
I was trying to figure out how to spread what we had so that each person got a little blessing from it. As I was working numbers on my phone’s calculator, I got a message that I wasn’t expecting.
Someone who was moved by God’s generous heart had unexpectedly given us $1000 to spend on our last-minute Christmas miracle. I was in tears of sheer relief and gratitude.
At the same time, I was very worried and afraid to spend what God sent us because our room fees were due two days after Christmas.
After being tested so harshly for 5 weeks for my room money, I was afraid to enter into the joy of that blessing.
I had been thoroughly tested by faith for miracle room money for 5 weeks. During that testing, there was hardly any time to take a break in between.
God would send me enough for the room to pay for a few days at a time, and then I would be pressed with my back against the wall, waiting for God’s next promised rescue. Being rescued can be quite exhausting because it means total dependence on God to be the Savior over and over again.
I thought about how grueling that month had been as I sat there in the mall deciding what to do. Yet in the midst of the stress and doubting about the room promise coming again, I could hear the Holy Spirit cheering me on to “let go and trust”.
God sent that Christmas money at just the perfect time and place so that He could bless us with a miracle of Christmas for the kids. I was at a crossroads of choosing logic or faith. I decided to keep following Jesus and I went the route of faith.
We joyfully shopped that day and spent what God had given us to use. We spent Christmas eve wrapping up gifts and tying them in beautiful bows. Everything was looking like a dream come true and not a smile was missing from anyone’s face.
On Christmas day, the Lord started to coach me about how to get through this next faith test for the room. He was telling me to keep doing a backward trustful over and over again and rest in His promise to show up to catch us.
God was also telling me to think thoughts of faith nonstop, like running a marathon. God showed me not consume by the table by doubts or fears or bad outcomes. God wanted me to keep my hopes as the focus of my mind and to continuously imagine that my hopes were done.
I spent all day on Monday, December 26th thinking about my hopes of God saving us coming true. I imagined that my room was paid. When the fears of how we would survive or “what if we became homeless” came to me, I entered into the past tense place of faith.
I would say, “I am so thankful that my room has been paid, and I can breathe again” and “thank you so much, God, for paying our room and saving us with your promise fulfilled”.
I found that when I saw the situation of past tense, as though our room payment was already made and the pressure was already over and gone–then I could breathe, and it wasn’t as scary.
I literally would have had no place to go, if God didn’t show up, and I knew that deep down. I didn’t have some loving and kind person that I could go stay with, I had nothing but my promise from God.
He promised that our room was paid for and that my promise of support from Him was like a turtle’s shell. Our promise from God was attached to us, and it will never be removed, just as a turtle’s shell is part of its body and doesn’t come off.
December 27th was what our room was paid through, and I had to either pay to stay or leave. By that time, I was so exhausted from the testing of my faith, but I knew that I had to keep pushing through to the end.
Every time I was worried or scared, I would close my eyes and imagine that I was falling into the arms of Jesus. I would see God holding us up with His promise and intentional support.
As with every time before, there is always a moment when it feels like giving birth. It is the moment of going from feeling the pure anguish of pushing through the pain to the absolute unbridled joy of seeing the baby enter into this life and hearing her precious cries.
That is kind of what it felt like. Out of nowhere, I received enough money come through that blessed us to pay for our rent. Relief is an understatement of how I felt. I couldn’t stop crying gratitude to God since it happened.
In over 6 years of being held up by nothing by God’s promise of power, I can honestly say that His promises are faithful and dependable, even when placed in the most extreme circumstances.
When I was doing a personal love letters for a person, they prophesied to me about what our Christmas would look like.
She said it would be “busy and magical”. That is exactly what it was! That prophetic person hit the target with her words and God did just that for us! We did all of our shopping at the very last minute on Christmas Eve, so it was really super busy! LOL
And it was magical in the way of childlike wonder coming to live. I was able to encounter the most miraculous timing and manifested presence of God. I was so unbelievable and unforgettable.
Even though it was uncomfortable to wait for the last minute, experiencing God’s last-minute rescues completely eliminated any doubts that I had left about God’s all-present love showing up to fulfill His words.
Thank you for being a part of it all by reading this blog and for your love and friendship that I treasure so much.
Love you! ♡