Sowing Seeds of Love
After my time of hitting ‘rock bottom’ God sent extra comforts our way to help me recover and be re-built in faith. However, going through that experience was harder for me than I expected.
The memory of it all was like a wound that was being attacked. I battled so much doubt and fear afterwords. The moment that things looked like they would go low again, I panicked, and I went on my blog and asked for help.
However, God was showing me that He wanted me to lean into His promise by faith and that I was acting out of fear and doubt during that moment. After going through something so terrifying, I was really hurting and struggling to have faith like before. I felt like I had nothing left, and I didn’t want to do this anymore.
God was so loving and gracious with me despite my weakness, and He comforted us with plenty to cover our room, and other needs. I was ready to be done with it all, but God was wanting me to move back into faith and trust in His promises. He kept reminding me all that He promised for us and was encouraging me to fall in love with the dream He had given all over again.
Eventually I peeled myself off the dirty ground and came back to following God on this journey. God lifted us back up, and I had paid several days on our room and replenished so many needs. I was finally recovered from the shock of hitting rock bottom, and my faith was back in a good place and thriving once again.
One of the things that God has had me do so many times is to sow into our future needs by helping someone else who is in need. That is what happened next…
I felt amazing from the time of respite that God had given. Our room had been well covered and was still covered for a few more days. I still had $500 left over on my card to cover the next reservation that I made for our hotel, plus the food for a few days too.
I was comfortable and ready to kick back and enjoy some time of writing with the Lord. However, God had other plans. He wanted to teach me a big lesson about love and trust.
There was a very precious woman who had sent me $5 out of nowhere. When I wrote her to express my gratitude, she revealed that she was sowing that as a seed to God for a miracle that she needed.
I could have left it there, but God was leading me to probe a little deeper into her miracle needs. It turned out that she had been praying to God for a miracle need for $500. It was something that was so deeply needed for her.
Immediately, God started to nudge me to release the $500 that I had to this woman as an act of faith and trust in God to cover my needs as well. God was telling me that if I had the power to help someone, then I should do it “unselfishly” and trust Him to cover me when I was needing help as well.
My next room reservation was 2 days away at that time, and I had planned to use that $500 for our needs. However, God was asking me to deny myself and give up my needs to sow a seed of love for this woman and her child.
God kept singing the song “sowing seeds of love”, and I was in a valley of decision. Could I really trust God to cover us with something so big? Could I really put this woman’s needs above the needs of myself and my daughter? Wow, I was being pressed beyond anything I had ever known…
The thing is, I cannot tell God ‘no’. I have already given Him my heart and there is no going back. So I dove in and cancelled my reservation. I gave this woman my $500, and it felt like I had committed suicide. Suddenly I was falling and I needed a HERO.
Every part of my life was stretched out onto the altar of God’s promise to support and cover our needs. I chose the path to love…and it was the hardest thing I had ever done.
The morning arrived too soon for our reservation to end, and I was waiting for God to rescue us like He promised. I kept watching as I packed the car up, but nothing was happening.
So I went back to the same place where I parked the car when I hit ‘rock bottom’ and I waited on God to save me. It felt like I was re-living my worst nightmare all over again. God kept telling me that He would send a ‘love rescue’ but I didn’t realize how scary it would be to wait for it.
I was just about to crumble, and I had already had to secretly release my tears. Then out of nowhere, God sent me $500 for our miracle needs as well. God replaced what I had released out of a sacrifice of love, and we went to a new hotel, and it was even better. They even cooked us a hot breakfast in the morning!
It was a miracle moment to see the seeds of love cover the needs of my friend and the needs of my family as well. It was the best feeling to see her so happy and then to have God cover our needs as well!
I don’t think that is the end of the story, either, because God keeps showing me that seeds of love are always multiplied back to us like dandelion seeds that scatter in so many directions.
We are already approaching a new miracle need for our room and food needs being covered, and I truly believe that God will use those “love” seeds to cover our miracle needs again.
I learned through this experience that to “love others as you love yourself” means putting their needs above our own and trusting God to love us and cover us just as much.
It is easy to give someone a love seed with the little bits that are “left over” but it takes real love to give out of our own needs and to put someone else first. It is like the widow who gave Elijah the last bit of her oil to back some bread.
Her sacrifice of love and trust to God caused her to receive a blessing of multiplication that saved her and her child. I am hoping that God does that for us as well.
A sacrifice is laying ourselves down in complete surrender in what God has promised and trusting in His love to be there to catch us. It is an offering of true love—and love is unfailing.
That was the hardest and most rewarding faith risk that God has ever led me to take. It was a risk that challenged the fear and doubt that was attacking my mind. I didn’t realize that God would heal me in such a way.
My healing came through facing my fears and exposing myself to be vulnerable enough for God’s love to replace my fears. “To heal a wound is to touch with love which was previously touched by fear”….
Thank you for taking this journey with me, and I hope that I can share a new update soon on how God delivered the next miracle to cover our room for the morning.
Sending love to you and yours,
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul (life), and with all your mind (thought, understanding), and with all your strength.’ This is the second: ‘You shall [unselfishly] love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark12:30-31